15 Red Flag Signs That He Loves His Ex More Than You

When you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to tell whether your partner still has feelings for his ex. In some cases, those old emotions may even outweigh how he feels about you! Though no one likes to consider this possibility, it’s important to stay aware of the signs that he loves his ex more than you.

In this article, we’ll go through 15 red flags that might indicate your partner is still hung up on his past love. From lingering physical contact to changes in communication style, these clues will help you identify when something isn’t quite right between the two of you — and what steps should come next.

If any of these warning signs sound familiar to you or make you feel uneasy, don’t worry: there are things both partners can do to rebuild trust and move forward together. So read on if you want to learn more about recognizing when someone’s heart belongs somewhere else.

1. He Still Talks To His Ex Frequently

According to a recent study, more than 80% of people still talk to their exes after the breakup. While this can be concerning for many reasons, it can also be an indicator that someone isn’t ready to move on and may not have fully committed themselves to their new relationship. One red flag sign that he loves his ex more than you is if he talks to her frequently.

He might take hours talking on the phone with his ex or spend time catching up over coffee, seemingly forgetting about your own needs and desires in the process. This could indicate unresolved feelings between them; perhaps even subconsciously he feels like he should remain loyal to her instead of committing himself wholly to you. It’s important to pay attention when these conversations occur as they can show just how much emotional investment exists between him and his former flame.

2. He Compares You To His Ex

Comparing and contrasting can be a clear sign of not-so-healthy behavior. When he starts comparing you to his ex, it could indicate that he loves his former flame more than you. Comparing the two of you is counterproductive to building an intimate relationship with each other as it calls attention to differences instead of similarities.

When your partner compares the two of you in any way, it may signal that they are still holding onto their past love. It’s important for both people involved in a relationship to respect boundaries – physical or emotional – when one person continues to think about someone else from their past. If this comparison happens often enough, then it might be time for some honest conversations about how your partner feels about their ex and what kind of compromises need to be made in order for both partners’ needs to be met going forward.

Does he post about his ex on social media? That could mean there are still feelings lingering between them…

3. He Posts About His Ex On Social Media

When it comes to relationships, the way someone interacts with their ex on social media can be telling. Do they post about them often? Are there lingering feelings of affection or resentment? It may seem like a small thing, but posts that are too frequent and overly sentimental could indicate your partner isn’t quite over his past relationship.

It could be anything from an innocent ‘throwback Thursday’ photo to wishing happy birthday to reminisce about fond memories together – if he’s still partaking in these kinds of activities then it is likely he has unresolved emotions for his former love interest. If those same kinds of posts don’t exist between you two, then this might be another red flag sign that he loves his ex more than you.

The fact that your partner seems to prioritize his ex-girlfriend’s needs before yours is concerning; it shows a lack of commitment toward the current relationship and raises questions as to whether or not he will ever truly let go of her.

4. He Prioritizes His Ex’s Needs

It’s a coincidence that he prioritizes his ex’s needs – but it’s no coincidence that it’s a red flag sign. When someone loves another person more than you, they will often prioritize their current partner second and put them first in line for attention. Here are four signs to look out for if this is happening with your significant other:

  1. He spends time speaking about his ex during conversations with you
  2. He talks nostalgically or fondly of memories shared by him and his ex
  3. He posts about his ex on social media
  4. He prioritizes his ex’s needs above yours

If your partner is doing any of these things, then there’s a strong chance they still harbor deep feelings for their former flame – which could spell trouble for your relationship. It may be time to have an honest conversation about where the two of you stand and how each of you can move forward without being weighed down by the past. After all, no one wants to start off a new partnership feeling like they’re competing against someone else! Without making assumptions, take some time to talk through your feelings so everyone involved knows what to expect going forward as he holds onto items from his ex…

5. He Holds Onto Items From His Ex

Possessing precious keepsakes can be powerful. Physical reminders of the past and sentimental symbols of relationships are often stored away in secret compartments, tucked into boxes, or hanging on walls – an emotional hoard that he won’t let go of. If your partner still has tokens from his ex, it could be a red flag sign that he loves her more than you:

  1. He hangs onto photos of them together;
  2. He refuses to throw out the cards she gave him;
  3. He cherishes the small trinkets she gifted him;
  4. He wears jewelry with memories attached.

These items may not have monetary value but undoubtedly possess great significance for him, which is why they remain part of his life even after the relationship ended. It’s natural to keep mementos from significant moments in our lives, but if these objects take precedence over you then it might be time to reconsider whether this is something you’re comfortable with before things get any deeper…

6. He Refuses To Cut Off Contact With His Ex

If your partner refuses to cut off contact with his ex, it can be a major red flag in the relationship. It shows that he still has feelings for her and may even love her more than you. Here are three signs to watch out for:

First, if he mentions their names too often or brings them up in conversations without being prompted, it’s clear that his thoughts are still on her. Second, if he talks about how great she is or compares you two favorably against each other, this could mean he misses spending time with her and doesn’t want to let go of those memories. Finally, does he text or call her when you’re not around? If so, then it’s likely that deep down inside there’s still something between them.

It’s important to confront him directly about these issues rather than jumping to conclusions. If he truly loves you and wants things to work out between the two of you, then he’ll be understanding of your concerns and will take the necessary steps toward cutting off communication with his ex. Nonetheless, it can be difficult finding out whether or not your partner hasn’t fully moved on from an old flame – but by paying attention to these warning signs you can start getting some answers as soon as possible.

7. He Avoids Talking About His Ex With You

It can be difficult to know if your partner is still in love with their ex. One way of measuring this is by observing the frequency and willingness with which they talk about them. If your significant other avoids talking about their former flame, it could be a sign that they are not yet fully over them. Here are three red flags that he loves his ex more than you:

  • 1) He doesn’t bring up stories from his past relationship when telling anecdotes;
  • 2) He changes the subject whenever you mention his ex, or seems uncomfortable discussing them;
  • 3) He gets defensive when you ask questions about how serious things were between him and his former lover.

When it comes to conversations around his previous relationships, these signs suggest that there may still be unresolved feelings present – something that can make it hard for a new romance to blossom. Not only does this make things awkward between the two of you, but it can also lead to negative emotions like jealousy and insecurity on your part. Communication is key here – if he isn’t willing to have an honest conversation about his past then you may need to consider whether or not this relationship is right for you. Moving forward into the next section, we’ll discuss another one of these ‘red flag’ behaviors: getting defensive when you mention his ex.

8. He Gets Defensive When You Mention His Ex

It’s like a movie scene: The hero is in the center of the room, surrounded by menacing adversaries. He stands tall and proud, seemingly unafraid, but deep down he knows that any movement could trigger an attack from his enemies. In this case, however, it’s not physical battles being fought; instead, the hero must remain vigilant against verbal assaults targeting his past relationships.

When he gets defensive when you mention his ex, it can feel like your heart has been pierced with a thousand arrows. You worry that these conversations are just another sign that he loves her more than you – or worse yet, still has feelings for her. It can be hard to maintain your composure as these thoughts race through your mind while trying to keep up a polite conversation about something unrelated to the topic at hand.

But don’t jump to conclusions too quickly! His defensiveness may simply be due to a desire for privacy rather than a lingering attachment to his ex-partner. As much as we’d all love our romantic partners to be completely open books, they sometimes need their space – especially if talking about previous relationships causes distress or discomfort.

9. He Gives His Ex-Special Treatment

It’s estimated that more than half of relationships end with one partner still having feelings for their ex. This statistic is a reminder to be aware of red flags when dating someone who has been in past relationships. One such sign could be if your partner gives his ex-special treatment, which can indicate he loves her more than you.

If your significant other goes out of their way to make sure his ex feels appreciated and valued, it may mean he harbors lingering feelings for them even though the relationship ended. Even something as seemingly small as sending regular texts or checking in on how she is doing are signs that there might be deeper emotions at play here. The fact that this behavior continues after the breakup should raise alarm bells – why would he treat an ex differently from anyone else? It doesn’t feel fair to you if they have a different type of bond with another person while also being in a relationship with you.

This kind of preferential treatment could point to unresolved issues between him and his former flame especially if these interactions occur regularly despite no longer being together romantically. If so, it can create an imbalance in your own relationship where you feel like the third wheel rather than a priority.

10. He Still Has Feelings For His Ex

It’s hard to know whether someone still has feelings for their ex. Take Jake, who had been dating his current girlfriend Sarah for a few months when he started mentioning things about his previous relationship with Kelly. Every time they’d go out together, he would compare it to what he and Kelly used to do on dates. He even talked wistfully of the places they used to visit as if he was longing for those times again.

It didn’t take long before Sarah began to feel like her presence wasn’t enough, that something else occupied space in Jake’s heart and it wasn’t her. Despite how much she tried to reassure herself that everything was alright, Sarah couldn’t shake off the feeling of insecurity; she knew deep down that Jake still had feelings for his ex-girlfriend Kelly.

Sarah wished so badly that she could make Jake forget about any lingering emotions from his past relationships but no matter how hard she tried, every day felt like a struggle against an invisible force holding them back from fully connecting with each other.


It can be challenging to tell if a man still has feelings for his ex, but there are some signs that you should look out for. If he talks to her frequently, compares you to her, posts about her on social media, or prioritizes her needs over yours then it’s likely that he may love her more than you. He might also hold onto items from their past relationship and avoid talking about her with you. Furthermore, if he gets defensive when mentioning his ex or gives her special treatment in any way then it is highly possible that his feelings for her have not faded away.

As the old adage goes ‘actions speak louder than words’, so pay attention to how your partner behaves around his ex as this will give you the best indication of whether or not he loves them more than you. It takes courage to come face-to-face with such an uncomfortable truth and make a decision accordingly, but sometimes we must take matters into our own hands if we want things done right – especially when it comes to matters of the heart.

At the end of the day, only you can decide which path is best for you; no one else can walk down your life journey in your place of you. Ultimately, trust your gut instincts and follow what feels right – even if it might seem hard at first – because ultimately this could lead us towards greater happiness in future relationships with ourselves and others alike.

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Deborah L. Rogers, MSW
Deborah L. Rogers, MSW
Deborah, with over 10 years of experience in the field, specializes in stress, depression, anxiety, trauma, and grief. Offers counseling and educational seminars. Passionate about helping individuals and families find balance. Emphasizes empathy, trust, and inclusiveness in her work.

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